That’s understandable to be honest. If you can, You should try look for a trauma-informed therapist, they will be very aware of therapy trauma and be able to help you out with everything else too. I would also recommend looking into people like Gabor Mate on trauma, check YouTube. It’s a good starting point to heal. Personally I use internal family systems therapy, EMDR and somatic therapies. Research as much as you can about different treatments and therapies for trauma.