postr/StutterMarch 17, 2020

My first speech therapy! Unexpected results!

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My first speech therapy! Unexpected results! I [21, M] have a severe stutter. It happened when I was 1.5 years old, it was caused by a terrifying fever I had. Not gonna get into the struggles I face, but it is very tiring, I run out of breath, tense up and abdominal muscles flex cause I run out of breath. I've been like this since I can remember. Long story short, a college was extremely kind to offer pay for my speech therapy outside of college if I take their free adult upgrading program/ACE. My first session was 45 mins total, she asked many questions and gave me one exercise. Which is breathing. I always hated when people told me to breathe cause I didn't think it had much to do with my stutter. So I did that exercise a few times (breathe in for 5 seconds, pause for 5 seconds, breathe out smoothly for 5 seconds), it felt amazing to let all the breath out, my brain is programmed to cut my breath early. She then told me to do the same thing, but when exhaling, I let a little bit of air out then say a word, and after I finish saying it, I continue to let the air out. For the first time in my life, I felt completely relaxed. It took me a couple of tries to let the breath out smoothly though. Then she asked me to do the same thing but with a sentence, and yes I didn't stutter but most importantly I was completely relaxed. The next day I was reading my essay to my family to check for errors, and even tho I don't stutter as much with family, English isn't my first language so I was running out of breath, not being able to say many words, tense up to the point I almost shake, not to mention that I do make odd uncontrollable noises. I was exhausted when I finished reading loud. After an hour I decided to use the technique I was taught from the therapy session; take a good deep breath in, and really speak on the exhale and before I run out of breath I stop speaking, and smoothly let the air out, and repeat (I used to speak AFTER I let ALL the air out and flex my abdominal muscles). I read the whole thing with 0 stutter. I was relaxed and I was MUCH faster than an hour ago. Then I thought it's maybe because it's my essay that I read an hour ago, so I read a whole article about space cause it has complex words for me, and yes, I didn't stutter not even once! I was so relaxed AND I wasn't reading slow by any means. This was my very first session, and only 1 exercise. It's crazy how I never realized that it's as simple as breathing and speaking slower, I always tried to speak like others, which is what made me stutter a lot. For the first time I now have hopes of getting into medical school and become a doctor. I'm definitely not gonna breathe like this my whole life, the goal of this exercise is to gain complete control over my breathing, and it's the first step only. Never lose hope guys! Your stutter might sound severe and you think no one has it like you do.. but the solution could be very simple! Please remember to aim for improvement and not for perfection. You want to be inspired by the results and not disappointed. Good luck everyone! You got this.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityCoping & AdvocacyEmotional ExperienceIdentity & DisabilityTherapy & Professional

Subthemes

Energy & Biological RhythmsFluency TechniquesHope & MotivationAcceptance & PridePositive Therapy Techniques