I would look into speech therapy as it's really diminishing your self-esteem - you shouldn't view speech therapists as a cure to make stuttering go away as there is no cure, but a good one will help build up your confidence to make you see that you matter more than the fact that you stutter and will give you some techniques to be a bit more fluent. I would also advise you read this book: Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. The more you avoid something, the more bigger the fear will become. Lastly I would say is you should just try to be comfortable and embrace your stutter - easier said than done but disclosing it to people before you start talking as a heads-up will help to take a lot of pressure off from you.