I knew I recognized that name, still has the same effect. You know, I know almost exactly how you feel. Im a graduate student. Last semester, I was in group that was horrible to me. The group got so toxic that we couldn't sit in the same room together. I felt picked on and denigrated even though I knew I was right. I told my Professor that I would rather do the project on my own than be forced to work with them anymore. I couldn't understand it at all. I just knew that I was surrounded by people who had no respect for me whatsoever. The professor escalated the issue and in talking to the other group members, he realized that they had some sort of implicit bias towards me. He told me himself that it was clear case of racism as they mentioned to him in passing that I was an "immigrant anyway and had totally misunderstood how things worked!" They were immediately sanctioned and the only reason they were not expelled was because they hadn't actually "done" anything, it was mostly words. My grades are perfect, I am respectful, I work as hard as anyone else. But no matter how shiny a suit a I wear, I will never be able to take of my skin. The crazy thing is that my school came down on them hard. I received support from everyone involved. I am pretty happy with the outcome and honestly it couldn't be better.I learned a lot about myself. But there is still apart of me that realises, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there will always be some cunt who refuses to see **me**, and instead chooses to put me in their own fantasy box because of my heritage, my skin color, my sex etc... But that doesn't mean to stop trying. Because for every 1 shitcunt, I have to believe there are 10 good people who will see my worth as a human, and a good person and will support me. And it's worth it to be the best I can be because its the right thing to do. People wont always understand when you feel like laying down and giving up. And allow yourself to lay down and cry and rest and grieve sometimes, Its Ok. Just dont stay down. Dont stop trying.