so, i mean that i was putting a lot of time and energy into dating and trying to find a partner. i had an account on match and okcupid (i don't know if these are sites kids still use), i was working out a lot so i thought i looked good, i was worried more about my appearance, and i would do a lot of socializing and going to parties with a real, underlying aim to see if there would be someone there that i could talk to and possibly date. it's all unlike me, but at the time there was this inherent urge to sort of square this part of my life away, if that makes sense. yeah, there were definitely times that i was dating someone that, for one reason or another, i wasn't into or things didn't feel right. at least for me, if i inherently felt off about it, i just couldn't move ahead with the relationship. there is something dreadful about thinking you would be with someone for the rest of your life that you didn't feel was "the one". that being said, with anyone you meet they will have tics or oddities or character flaws and you have to learn to accept that part of them as they will accept the parts of you that could be improved.