Alcohol used to help. I used to enjoy my time. Now, not so much.. I think a lot more about everything. I don't have fun with alcohol anymore, I just get into more depression thoughts so I avoid it. I tried weed and I didn't like it, I mean I don't have any friends that I can comfortably be who I am with, I basically never have fun but still never losing hope, I know it's temporary, so I chose to always be sober and go for speech therapy and go back to college at 21.