Why don’t you think you deserve these things? Do you feel your stutter is a failing? I am so sorry this has been so hard for you. Have you considered trying to seek some therapy to try to find more peace in how you’re living? You’re 21 that’s so young. You can live a life you’ve never dreamed if you get to the point where your stutter is bare minimum neutral in your life I really think you can. People are always going to be mean, that’s never going to go away, but you have to be brave enough to let in the good people who will love you and support you and listen to you. It’s so hard but I really think you can. I’m 35, I’m going to be a lawyer, I have fulfilling friendships with people who understand me, because I got brave and I let them in. It takes work but you could do it.