Just some appreciation for my younger self who didn’t let her speech impediment destroy her will to keep putting herself out there.

Just some appreciation for my younger self who didn’t let her speech impediment destroy her will to keep putting herself out there. Just some background: I am a 24 year old female who has stuttered pretty badly since age 4. I was in speech therapy for over ten years. I’m a secretary for an office. I used to have such intense fear of the phone that I would have to have other people make phone calls and pretend to be me. After 4 years as a hostess in different restaurants, I learned little tricks to make communicating better and my social anxiety and phone anxiety went away. Now I work this job and interact with 50+ people a day. When I think of the girl who couldn’t work for years and struggled to even order food at a restaurant, I thank my former self for pushing through all of the road blocks. The isolated incidents where I stuttered so bad on one word that I will never forget it and even thinking of it causes my body to get warm and sweaty still from embarrassment. The phone calls I tried to make and hung up on because I wasn’t ready. The awful, awful job interviews where I tried to use my speech tactics and was so nervous I had no fluency. I am thankful that I kept pushing myself after those moments, even if sometimes I had to take days to cry and hate my life before I gathered the courage to try again. I remember telling myself that it was okay to get stupidly excited over being able to answer the phone. I will never forget the first phone call I answered when I worked for a steakhouse... I had spent the first 4 months of my employment there avoiding the phone and everyone knew I just didn’t answer it because I stuttered. One night a group of servers were standing at the host stand chatting and the phone rings. Halfway into the first ring I picked it up and answered without a single stutter. Everyone looked at me like I had just sprouted wings and a unicorn horn. They celebrated with me and I remember that was the first moment that I realized I could do it. Even if I stuttered, I still answered those calls. It was so empowering. That was back in 2013. Just thinking of how much progress I’ve made the last 5 years makes me feel so good. It may not mean anything to those who don’t suffer from a speech impediment, but it means the world to me. Although I must say, I do stutter like hell when I call my mom. I have no idea why, lol. That will never change! Don’t ever give up. If you feel deeply wounded by a bad experience, definitely take time to kick your wounds, but please keep trying eventually in whatever way you can. I promise you that you will get to a point where you will feel comfortable with your stutter and you won’t care if people hear it anymore. What an amazing feeling it is.