My story is very similar to yours. My family says I was born with a stutter (which is normal when we first begin talking) but mine never went away. In high school I had friends who I really cared about and I was decent looking so I had girlfriends every now and again. Actually I had a lot because I was a man whore (boy whore?) and knew where the clitoris was before some of my stupider classmates. School was okay. I was a burn out really. I began smoking marijuana which of course led to other drugs and my excuse for my lack of success and not trying in high school was my stutter. Sometimes, my stutter has benefited me I believe. Some people feel pity. For example, I am in college now, after years of being a burn out, and in Louisiana a Public Speaking course which is required for every degree in Louisiana. I was really anxious and angry that a person like me had to take the course. It was some day before the class began, it dawned on me that in the real world my stutter was not and could not be an excuse like it was in high school. So, what happened was I did all four required speeches, each at six minutes long and I did all of the prerequisites of the speeches perfectly. What I mean is, technically my speeches were perfect but my speech is so flawed that it did not matter. And this means that I can't technically be failed for being a stutterer. Let me stop rambling, I feel very much like you. I get depressed a lot. I get so depressed to where I want to hide...forever. Then I realize that I may not ever be able to make friends because I can't talk or have a girlfriend now days (the real world made my speech worse too) because they do not want a defective partner around their parents and friends, but by God that doesn't stop me from trying! I know exactly how you feel. I love to visit stutteringhelp.org (The Stuttering Foundation) and westutter.org (The National Stuttering Association.) If I were not a busy student with a part-time job I would be on these a lot more reading and reading and reading. I want to get to be a well-known on this forum, like all of us should want to be. We share the pain that we have all carried and that is a bond we have that never knew we had, without knowing each other. I hope to talk to you all again!