If you can access psychological help do it. In the USA many states have programs to pay for these services. There is federal assistance as well. I can't immediately think of the program name. Most areas do have a phone number to access immediate assistance of many kinds, including medical, psychological, food, and shelter. Usually, the number is 211. In the meantime, do your own therapy. Dissect your childhood abuse, and do everything you can to support your physical and psychological needs. The virtual library is a great source to learn about overcoming childhood abuse. So many books and videos about ‘adulting’ after childhood abuse. In my case, I have a plan to now express my wants and needs without embarrassment. Practicing assertiveness in communication is a goal. There is a wonderful YouTube presenter, Jefferson Fisher, who does little 60-second videos on polite assertiveness He's my go-to guy. Good luck, Sue