I’m so done with other people commenting on my speech
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I’m so done with other people commenting on my speech So, lately I’ve been struggling alot more with speaking. I’ve always stuttered in anxiety provoking situations (class presentations, giving a speech, etc) but it never got out of hand until sophomore year of high school. For reference, I am a senior in college now. I’ve spent 6 years living in complete fear of speaking and it’s ruining my life. How do you guys cope with those difficult feelings and sensations that arise when people point out things about stuttering? Idk why it bothers me so much. My speech therapist just said “what are you noticing about your speech pattern right now” and for some reason that really rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t know what it is. It’s really discouraging because while I know she’s a professional and didn’t mean it in a rude or harmful way, it’s still hard to hear those comments. Ive had providers (doctors, mental health therapists, nurses, etc) ask me if I’m drunk, why I slur my speech, why my speech is so choppy, if I always have that nervous tickle when I speak, etc. The constant pressure to always speak fluently is unbearable. I’ve been wasting so much mental energy on this that I’m exhausted and drained by the end of the day. I can’t keep doing this. I know it’s not a big deal if a doctor notes “speech slow at times” but it still hurts to know that others point it out. It’s also SO annoying when people think I’m lying because I’m stuttering. My stuttering is a direct product of my anxiety. I really do believe that. I say this because it’s not something that occurs in every encounter. I know there are neurological and biological reasons and factor that contribute to speech and fluency, but I’m an incredibly anxious person. It feels like I’ve been living in a state of anxiety and mental health crisis for years. So it’s almost the “what came first, the chicken or the egg” type of scenario. I don’t even know what my point is anymore. I just need to vent. College classes start in 5 days and I’m terrified. Any advice helps.