I am 39 years old, 40 in couple weeks and I’ve struggled with stuttering since I was 9. The thing I have a hard time doing is letting go. I can’t just be ok with it. It’s like I know the answer and can’t pass the test. Its very frustrating and some days I feel like giving up. But we have the cards that we are dealt and we have to work with it. When I start feeling down I imagine behind a paraplegic or being blind and how hard that must be. Life is tough I’m not trying to down play it at all. We jump through many hoops and it’s exhausting like you said. And sometimes very hopeless feeing. But remember that someone out there will always have it worse off. The only advice I know that has helped ease the tension is being very open about it. Tell people wear a shirt that says I s-s-stutter. Once you stop trying to hide it, it will become easier to speak. Don’t give up man. Good luck.