Unfortunately people like us have to go to the extra mile to prove our competence, but showing proof can go a long way. Just showing what you can do in a kitchen and proving you can be an asset might be the extra push you need to get hired. It’s worked for me and I’ve seen it work for others. When you get hired, establish early on that you can’t be pushed around. Kitchens have a very locker room style hierarchy, if they see you’re not a push over and can pull your weight, they’ll eventually respect you and recognize you as an asset. I’ve checked out your post history, your writing is very clear and articulate, you seem like a sharp, level headed kid who’s very self aware. I wouldn’t be surprised if you eventually figure out how to use your experiences as drive to push yourself through this phase of your life. I’ve worked in kitchens for over 20 years. Feel free to DM me if you ever need advice for anything. It sounds like you’ve never had anyone help or mentor you in your field, it can make a difference. I’d be happy to help anyway I can.