I totally understand what you're saying. People don't understand that the ability to speak gives a person confidence and makes them complete. If you can't speak and say what you want to say, whenever you want to say something, it makes you feel helpless. I have also avoided being in relationships, because i don't feel like a real man struggling to talk and trying to win a girl over. A lot of my family members think that i am probably gay, because i don't talk about women, but little to they know, it's because i feel like shit whenever i talk.