First you need to strengthen ur mind u can't strengthen ur mind without strengthening ur body, go to the gym and hammer down ur body get big, most of us gym goers workout, then spend the whole of the next day thinking about our next workout it's an easy way to take ur mind off things also it may have good effects on ur stutter. Also if ur still suicidal find a reason to live, could be family, or you could dedicate your life to something such as the military, charity abroad etc. Also I recommend doing research about the mcguire programme and hollin research institute(not sure if that's the correct name) these programs are proven to ease the stutter and make it wayy more bearable, you'll be able to formulate sentences properly, these programmes are different from others they literally retrain ur brain and teach your brain how to speak with fluency. Good luck bro👍