You're not alone. For myself, that feeling comes and goes. It's like the weather. This biggest obstacle that I face isn't my stammer but how I deal with having a stammer. To use the weather analogy, no one likes the rain but sometimes I hate it and other times, I'm indifferent. Once in a blue moon I like the rain. I can't stop the rain, I can't avoid getting wet so why must I insist on getting upset. This probably doesn't make alot of sense but I hope it at least gave some distraction for your pain.