commentr/StutterJanuary 15, 2024

Content

My stutter would have come to an instant halt the moment I saw him get upset. Not sure why but I do not stutter at all when I get mad. And I mean not even in the slightest. He would have had a problem, because I tend to get extremely angry extremely fast when I'm in a situation like that. I've come close to eliminating stuttering these days though. For me, I figured out that I had a terrible habit of checking out consciously when in certain situations, just leaving my poor body there to fend for itself. I learned to put myself **into** my words. Literally **using** my words instead of mentally escaping and not really being there. If you are going to go somewhere with your body, then for goodness sakes go there with your consciousness also. We have a weird ability to be somewhere with our body while our mind, awareness, consciousness, whatever you want to call it, escapes. People used to tell me that I was thinking too hard about what I wanted to say. Bull, I wasn't even consciously present to do any hard thinking. When I began to put myself into every word I now rarely stutter. And every single time I do now it is when I am lost in my mind, not present, and someone asks me something. I can hang up on a word then. What I mean by "putting myself into my words", I don't really know how to explain it. It's a feeling. Of **owning** **everything**, my awareness, my body - everything. Being there 100%. No rejection, resistance, or running away mentally. Taking it all in no matter what. This might make no sense to you at all but it has helped me almost entirely eliminate the problem. So I truly hope it does. Being there 100% is also extremely powerful. My sense of time expands, I have greater space and time in which to speak or not speak at my choosing. I began to purposefully walk, talk, and feel like I have unlimited time. All the time in the world in which to respond. Before I had no sense of time at all. Like I was in some restricted box of hell smothering me to death and locking up my throat. The harder I tried to get out the more stuck on that word I became. Hope this helps someone.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityCoping & AdvocacyIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Stress & Fight/FlightMindset shiftAuthenticity vs. Masking