You're describing depression. And it's a vicious cycle. You want to see your family. But you avoid seeing them. And the longer goes on the harder it is. You're being harder on yourself about your stutter than anyone else is going to be. Buy a very large factor. If you want to see people or do things, you need to do those things. Letting your stutter make decisions for you is one of the biggest problems we face. When you start taking your life back from your stutter you will find yourself happier. Just do it little by little. At least once a day when you are going to avoid something because of your stutter, insist on doing what it is you want to do. Even if it goes horribly because of your stutter, at least you didn't cop out.