Exactly this! I’m also sorry to hear that man but mindfulness and self compassion goes a long way especially for us stutterers/anxious/depressed types of people. You have to allow yourself to feel all the emotions and sensations you’re having then allowing them to express themselves. Speaking for myself and I’m sure others stuttering holds you back from expressing yourself it’s like living in a fear state sometimes but once you allow yourself that freedom to fuck up and try again you’ll end up laughing about it later in life because you’ll realize whatever situation was happening in that moment it really wasn’t as significant as you thought! it’s a daily battle but with compassion self love and awareness you’ll get past feeling defeated If you get the chance check out these books: The power of now - Eckhart Tolle The Ultimate Happiness Prescription-Deepak Chopra The Four Arrangements- Don Miguel Ruiz take care.