Bastian this is only the beggining I know how you feel is much than hell. I rejeced to go in college about my Stutter even I was very intelligent but I had no opportunity to say my opinion and for that I stay much time in home, I never not have think that Stuttering will bring me in this situation. Btw for you you should find a therapist as soon as possible because The smaller are you, the better the therapy.you must act quickly because you will suffer the worst of the consequences.I wish you good luck You will be fine 🤜🤛