I agree and disagree with you. I totally agree with what you said here:  > Holy shit this community would gaslight you, and tell you that you're doing this to yourself. That if you can't handle the stutter then it's your fault for "letting it get to your head". I also hate that a lot of people think stammering is self imposed, whether by not doing enough speech therapy or by not fixing your social anxiety.  However, I do think that it's possible to improve your situation from a psychological perspective. It's not about "accepting" your stammer so much as it's about becoming emotionally distanced from things outside your control. Believe it or not, it's often possible to achieve this; many Holocaust survivors did. OP I feel your pain and anger, and I think you have a right to feel the way you do. But it does not help you live a good life. I urge you not to give up on finding peace with yourself, even if it is very difficult.