When I'm in a situation this tough I'd change my goal from trying to have a decent conversation to accepting it'll be terrible and embarrassing, but doing it anyway. It's a little bit of a cop out because I kinda forgo the whole point of why I want to talk to her, but if I can't get myself to talk to her this is where I go. By already accepting it's gonna be awful and embarrassing, I use this as a test of will and control over myself and I don't have the added pressure of hoping to have a good conversation.