postr/StutterApril 5, 2022

Does anyone else feel like having a stutter hindered their dating/social life? If you overcame this issue, how did you do it?

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Content

Does anyone else feel like having a stutter hindered their dating/social life? If you overcame this issue, how did you do it? I started to stutter at 12. Because I noticed I talked differently than everyone else, I became self conscious and my self esteem and confidence were gradually eroded. I didn’t know it then, but those two things are imperative when it comes to dating. I had enough trouble talking as is, so trying to talk to girls was doubly challenging; the social anxiety and sweating didn’t help either. It got to a point where I was depressed and tried to kill myself a few times, so I went to therapy, speech therapy, and took medication to overcome those issues. It took a long time and as a 26 year old man, I feel somewhat comfortable in my own skin now. Looking back though, I’m resentful that I had to spend so much time improving myself while most other guys didn’t have this issue and effortlessly got laid. I went through school and college without having fun or being in a relationship, despite desperately wanting to be with someone, and I hate that my stutter was a factor in that. I’m learning to love myself, but I hate that I had to go through that experience and I hate that people harshly judged me for elements outside of my control. It makes me want to cry that I missed out on so much, so I’m hoping some of you can understand and possibly help me.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Feared Words & NamesAvoidance & SubstitutionHiding & ConcealmentOverthinking & MonitoringStress & Fight/FlightAnxiety & Social Judgment