My friend, I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this emotional baggage. I know what you’re going through and I completely understand you. I can’t offer you any more than a virtual hug and a little advice: do whatever you want, they don’t like your speech? Who gives a shit? Honestly. Say whatever you want whenever you want and you’ll eventually feel more and more confident. And even so, part of what you are saying is a mental concoction your brain is imposing on you, due to the insecurities that come along with stuttering. You don’t know what people truly think, you never will, and you have to learn that the only thing that matters is what you and your loved ones think. Go out there and wreak havoc speaking! You got this.