I am completely understand what you mean... I truly hate it, many times when I stutter I curse at my self in my mind, or say hateful things about my self. One thing I have hated about my stutter is how makes me seem not as smart as others, or how a lot of times it seems like I'm lying since I can't get my story out without stumbling over my words. Or the worst of them all, when I have a serious block and I physically can't get the word out even though I know how to pronounce and spell the word but it just won't physically come out of my mouth. However these things I have learned to deal with, or at least not to let it control me. I know it's far easier said than done (most of the times), but it is a challenge we have to deal with. I'm not saying I feel perfectly fine when I stutter ( I still absolutely hate it) but through time, patience, stress, and effort, you will become better at dealing with it.