To be fair, there's a slight logical pitfall involved there. It's not one that's frequently analyzed, so I'll try to explain what I mean, briefly. - If you didn't stutter - well, what would the world look like? If one aspect of the world changes... who's to say what other aspects might change too? Perhaps there would be even more things that were missed out on? ... - You see, the danger of counterfactuals is never having any way to check them. They're simply imaginations. As such, you're letting your imagination only be guided by this one particular aspect - stutter - that you're focused on, at the expense of everything else. Don't believe yourself when you say fluent speakers _automatically, necessarily_ have easier lives. It's simply not a valid claims. Fluent speakers might have an easier time _talking_, but even that's not assured. Just think about cases where someone is simply really bad at expressing themselves, no matter how fluent they may be. - We can imagine lots of things. They're not real. What's real is what's actually here, now. Don't spend time thinking about what's not real. It takes away from the time you could be spending on the things that _are_ real. You coudl instead use your time to work towards real goals (like, noteably, managing your stutter). - "The universe" is not an agent. _You_ are. You can _do_ something. So like, try that. :)   --- *Also, since what you're writing in the last part seems to refer to ending your own life, I'm going to have to make an obligatory mention:* *r/SuicideWatch - you're not alone.*