Taking the easy way really only makes it harder in the future. I have been unemployed for these last two months. Mainly because I just feel too tired to look for a job. And every time I look through the vacant jobs I just get so stressed out because almost every job requires you to be an “excellent communicator” plus I know I will just bodge the interview. But when I look back at these two months, I have done almost nothing worth mentioning. I really have to get out of my comfort zone and start sending out some applications before life passes my by. My friend situation is also similar to yours. The days when I am able to speak fluent and see my friends really means the world to me. But other days when my speech sucks It really just breaks my heart and I feel like such a loser and that my friends just hang out with out of pity.