postr/StutterOctober 12, 2017

Failed job interview; Feeling hopeless and depressed

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Content

Failed job interview; Feeling hopeless and depressed Today I had a job interview at toys r us and it went bad when it was time for me to speak. It was a group interview and when it was my turn to introduce myself I blocked on my name. It was bad. I couldn't even get the words out. So the manager ran out of patience and went onto the next person. This was when I realized this wasn't going to go very well. Fast forward to the one on one interviews. The nice assistant manager was the one who interviewed me. This didn't go well either because I still blocked and stuttered severely. She tried to reassure me by saying: "I can tell you were nervous but you still did your best." At the end of the interview she said that she liked me and that she'll make sure to give me a call, which I already know is not going to happen. I'm embarrassed and I feel humiliated. I worked so hard for this interview to go well. I even practiced what to say for the past two days. Now I'm stuck with this crappy part time job I currently have until I graduate college. Why is it so hard for us stutterers to get a job? I feel like we're cursed. The jobs most of us do get are horrible and we don't get paid enough. I'm probably going to work at a shitty job for the rest of my life, since most employers don't want to hire a stutterer. Also before I started the interviews I did let them know that I have a speech impediment. I even put it down on the application.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceSchool & Work

Subthemes

Anticipating StutteringFeared Words & NamesAvoidance & SubstitutionShame & EmbarrassmentEmployment & Career

Codes (3)

intimidation_authorityordering_service_encountersaying_name_introduction