I agree that it's up to everyone to choose for themselves. Identity is a complicated construct, psychology emphasizes it as a self-concept, so it never made much sense to me when other people try and tell you how you should identify. I personally don't use identity-first language for either my stutter or neurodiversity, because I view my identity as something beyond those variables, my identity is about the actions I take in life based on my values as a human. I love talking about this with people thought! We are so different and I think it's awesome.