I'm so sorry to hear that stuttering is getting in the way of your enjoyment of life. I stutter and I'm a speech-language pathologist. I would recommend finding an SLP who specializes in stuttering (or fluency disorders). We can help you learn strategies to enhance your fluency, and also get a handle on the anxiety and negative emotions that are connected with your stutter and making it worse. I also have found in my own life that stuttering support groups are so helpful for my own mental health. Finding a group of people who are going through what you are can be so therapeutic. Just someone who gets it and shares your experience. I don't know where you live, but if you are in the US, check out westutter.org for help finding an SLP who can help, as well as a support group. Many groups continue to meet online, so you don't necessarily need to live in a major city. Please feel free to DM me if you have any questions. I'm rooting for you!