First and foremost, you are not alone in this. This entire sub is filled with others who are in or have been in similar situations in their lives. It seems to me that you are saying your stutter has left you with a great deal of social anxiety which is a detriment that you’re having trouble getting past by yourself. The best thing you can do in life is not try to go it alone. Finding a counselor or therapist to work on your anxiety might be a better place to start than working on your stutter. Working with a therapist can help you make sense of your anxiety and help you to understand the steps you need to take to reduce it. This extends to finding the tools you’ll need to tackle your stuttering. Your mental health is very important to work on now and for the rest of your life.