Ask yourself this question, "what would i do to be happy?". Killing yourself is very easy but you'll always live (live?) without being able to be happy at least once in your life, but now it's too late to think about these things, go straightforward and don't go back, you can change things, you really can, all the stuttering community has felt sad sometimes because of social issues, but some of them managed to change things and now they're having a great time, and you can be one of them! I've never felt like i needed to suicide but trust me, you're just woth the wrong people. Even a small change, just a second, or doing something different than you usually don't do in your routine can change your life