Sounds like this is less of a stuttering problem and more of an anxiety based avoidance problem. Quitting and running away is only going to exacerbate the issue and make it even harder next time. I think you could benefit from a frame shift because you’re never going to improve if you continue to run. I went from avoiding stuttering behavior to working full time at a call center starting with the same thoughts as you. Don’t let it control your life.