Man, please reach out. Have you ever spoken to another person with a stutter? Look I understand your situation 100% when I was younger I had an extreme fear of speaking. I used to write on pieces of paper at my first job to communicate, it was such a dehumanising feeling. I then locked myself away in my parents house for most of my early 20s completely missing out on life... Just because I was so afraid of speaking and doubted myself so much. I took slow gradual steps outside of my comfort zone, and now I'm working a full-time job and I have friends, even romantic relations... Look please, even if you don't want to talk over VoIP yet or on the phone please keep in touch with me, I will pm you my number add me on WhatsApp? You can beat this, I know because I did