I do understand, although not as extreme, what you're feeling. Stuttering sometimes makes me feel dumb, worthless, like a joke, destined for nothing, etc. But then I remind myself of my accomplishments (even small ones) and I feel better. I also remember that I am not alone in my struggles: King George VI, Joe Biden, Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Sir Isaac Newton, Theodore Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson are only a few historic people who have/had a stutter and still are/were greatly successful in life. They inspire me to never give up. As a 23 yr old, I can confidently say that enduring a stutter does get easier as you get older and as you surround yourself with more mature adults (in general). I don't mean to undermine therapy whatsoever, it can be a brilliant and life-saving option, but I personally don't like practicing my speech with a therapist - it makes me more embarrassed somehow. So can I suggest a phone app? It's called Stamurai. Unfortunately you have to pay for it after the trial, but I believe it's worth every penny. It teaches you evidence-based techniques (you'll recognize some from speech therapy), but my favorite part is that you can do it by yourself, without the pressure of anyone listening or judging. My other favorite part is that you can opt for them to send you inspirational quotes daily. Highly recommend (for all stutterers)! Good luck. Find that inner strength and don't let go of it.