Wow, this was an interesting post. Some of the things you're experiencing I don't think I've had to deal with, atleast to your extent. I hope your able to experience the joys of life, because you definitely know about the sorrows. I've learned that we (stutters) have to make our lives better on our own. We got to go out and experience new things, meet new people and put ourselves in situations that will help us grow. From the post, it sounds like you have lived a sheltered, kinda scared life. I know things are rough out there, but you g2 try and figure out what life means to you and what you want out of it. As for the sex stuff, you'll have plenty of time to get with someone you care about, but I think you need to build your confidence/self-esteem up before you start looking for someone. As for your sister, sometimes blood just isn't enough. If someone doesn't want to at least try to understand you , it might be time to put some distance between ya. Toss anything negative from your mental(mind). I tried to hit every point from your post and , I hope my words can help at least a little. Ever need to talk, feel free to msg me