I would be more confident and wouldn't hate myself I wouldn't have gotten bullied and feel alienated from my peers in my youth This led to me hating school and underperforming. I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle doing so many presentations. Maybe I would have given more of a fuck if I had a more positive experience. Maybe I'd actually have some career I want to do, instead of now where all my motivation is gone and I work some shitty min wage job.