I tried to kill myself a number of times when I was younger. I felt much like you, no one understood me and I had no future. I'm so sorry you are going through this but glad you reached out to this sub, there are plenty of people here who are going through similar issues. Have you tried speech therapy? While it is not a cure, it helps you to handle and get through your words. My therapist also talked to me about my feelings about stuttering to help me overcome my anxiety when opening my mouth. If you are interested, you can start here: https://westutter.org/who-we-help/find-speech-therapist/ A good speech therapist will also talk to your family about how they can support you. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me here or in the discord channel (details are pinned to this sub). You are not alone, my friend!