Today I turned 20. The stuttering still hasn't gone away, but is only starting to progress more

Today I turned 20. The stuttering still hasn't gone away, but is only starting to progress more When I turned 10, I wrote a letter to the future, which I opened today. the most important desire was to have a beautiful fluent speech without stuttering, in addition to numerous other hopes for social and working life. it upsets me so much. just the realization that 10 years of everyday struggle were meaningless. I've tried everything: many types of therapy, different exercises, prayers and medications. But my stuttering at 20 is much worse than that of that 10-year-old little girl. I feel like I'm at the bottom. the feeling is worse than when I was 10 years old. At least then I knew what I wanted and what I was striving for. Now I'm not a dreamy child anymore. I'm not where I want to be and I'm doing things I don't want to do. and I don't know how to get out of the bottom with the inability to talk. I am writing again a letter to the future, which I will open at 30. there is again a desire to get rid of stuttering or at least be able to control my speech in order to be able to do basic social things. I hope this decade won't let me down. stuttering seems to have ruined my life forever. but to hell with it. I will try even harder and I will gnaw out a happy half-valuable life for the rest of my life. I hope everything works out this time.