Dude, you know what you want to be, which is more than a lot of people can say. I'm in my 40s and I still don't know what to do with my life and wish I had some purpose. Keep pursuing your dream. I'd say you need to deal with your anxiety, too. Therapy can help, by which I don't mean speech therapy (which didn't help me when my stutter was severe, though it might help you), but someone who can help you work through anxious thoughts and feelings. Learn some breathing techniques to gain control of your autonomic nervous system. Eat food that supports mental health. Feeling better inside makes self-expression easier.