I can understand why you feel so bitter and angry about stuttering, we all in this sub reddit have felt the way you do at one point in time. But the hard truth is that if you carry around a bitter, cynical and self-loathing mentality and let stuttering conquer you instead of conquering it. You're setting yourself up to lose, it's okay to feel angry and insecure about it. But don't allow that to become all that you are, this "disorder" is not for anyone who isn't mentally strong or tough in some way. You've made it this far, why beat yourself and others with a stuttering disorder down in the mud? You're not inferior, weak or incompetent. No one here is, use this disadvantage and build yourself up.