Wow really did not expect such an in-depth answer and can promise you it means it a lot that random people take the time out of their day to formulate such a response. I do not think I need a medical detox as I only drink between 2 and 5 times a week, on average it would be 3 and would usually be around 700 to 900 mls of bourbon sometimes more sometimes less. I don't get shakes or anything like that it's more of a physicological addiction, there is no better feeling than going from not being able to say what you want when you want to then suddenly being able to. Can you imagine all the words and conversations I've never had, all the school events I've missed out on, all the job opportunities I've had to pass up on, I truly feel I have been cheated out of any semblance of a decent life. I know I might be sounding selfish as there a lot of person worse off than me but that is just how I feel. I gave up a 5 year multiple times a day every day addiction to weed on my own after countless attempts and I believe I can stop alcohol as well but at this point in my life that would mean cutting off the few friends I have as the only time I hang out with them is when I'm drunk and I don't see there being a relationship with them if I wasn't due to my polar opposite personality from being sober to drunk. Anyway I have a lot to think about and really appreciate your response and will for sure take you up on a chat sometime :)