"I value my life I would never kill myself. OTHERS put me in this situation why would I punish myself for something I didn't cause." Your values doesn't matter, I, also do not want to kill myself, but let's be honest i have already kill myself socially lol. The only advice i can tell you is, find a good source of happiness, mine is my little sister, playing with her makes me really happy. so everything i does in my life is to make her feel happy. If she wasn't her, i don't really know if i would kept pushing forward. Finding meaning in this life give you so much armor stats to go through everyday bullshit..