I know exactly what that feels like. I had many similar situations as you. The thing that frustrates me, is that having a stammer does not allow me to be myself. That it is harder to crack jokes or act casual and cool. That it is hard to be social. I feel like a different person on a bad fluency day. BUT, don’t let how other people see you dictate how you feel! You will try again and again. Next time you see them, don’t try to hide or avoid them. Be aggressive with your stammer. It is about you, not about how they feel.