know it can be hard and it seems like it can't get better but please find some help. If you can try to find therapy or a support group, as it sounds like you may be struggling with depression or something related. Try to take care of your mind and body. I know that everybody in this subreddit wants you to stay around, and as much as your family antagonizes you I know that at the end of the day they want you to stick around. Also please consider calling a hotline of some sort if you are seriously considering suicide. Life can be really shitty sometimes but it can and will get better, and suicide may seem like the answer but it is not. There are people who care about you, stutter and all.