You may want to give voluntary stuttering a try. From personal experience, it was extremely difficult to get myself to do it( 2 years!), but its a very empowering experience. You are stuttering on purpose, so when you stutter on your own terms it's not as scary. It will help eliminate those downward spiral feelings you get when you hit a block. Because you have desensitized yourself. And it's those downward spirals that really prevent any speech therapy from working. Re: your second paragraph, it sounds like you are letting fluency determine if you had a good experience or not. When you let fluency define you, you are devaluing everything else about you. Do you think non stutters think after an interview, oh I was really fluent, I.am getting that job now!! You need to get out of this "fluency is everything" cycle, because it's not. I get your take on women. Ive had a woman on a phone wanting to hang up because she couldnt take my stutter anymore. I get it. But heres what I noticed, you use sweeping overgeneralizations to protectyourself from getting hurt. Paraphrasing..."the majority of women wont like me" "they all want to run away from me", "its nearly inpossible to find someone to give me a chance". There is a lot of catastrophizing here. Even with no stutter, you would get rejected, and for ridiculous reasons! I will make get a guarantee..you are right, you will never find a.woman if you continue that thought process. You cant fail if you dont try right? And lastly, you are not broken. You are 18 going through the biggest transition of your life. And your trying to figure shit out. Its.not easy, as a stuttering child; our parents try to get us fixed, kids laugh at us, etc etc. We were not given a choice on how to deal with it any other way. But you are getting older now. I think youre starting to see this way of dealing with it is not working for you. You see people on this subreddit, doing well in life. You have to ask yourself, why is that? And the answer is not, they stutter less than you. I hope this helps.