Medical fellow here. Finished my residency recently and started my fellowship and I have a moderate to severe stutter. Reading this, I can see a lot of myself in you. I’m sorry to hear about the war torn situation you’re living through. I hope all is alright and you’re safe. I just want to say that you can do it and accomplish whatever you put your mind to. I know looking at recordings of yourself stuttering can be painful but my speech therapist actually forced me to record all my presentations and sit through them and analyze what was I doing to make my stutter worse and it helped a lot. I could see where I would stiffen, where I would rush, what words I would get stuck on. It really helped me improve my stutter and be better at dealing with it. My advice is to go back and watch it again, how painful it may be and analyze your speech and see what can you improve on. Also, try not have negative thoughts such as “if I can’t understand myself, how will anyone else”. Always be positive. Think of it as this is an opportunity to see how I’m doing and to look at it from a different angle to improve myself. Hope this helps. Best of luck.