Rant?

Rant? Hi everyone. This rant does affect some groups but I have no intention to be disrespectful. Mostly doing this to ease the unique pain stutterers (especially moderate-severe) feel. My stutter is "moderate" (blocks every few seconds if not 1-2 seconds). This is just a rant to get some demons off my back and hopefully invoke relatable inspiration in someone ~~before I inevitably off myself~~ :) **Cue Rant** I'm tired. I'm just really tired. Tired of denied jobs. Tired of denied friends. Tired of cliche advice. Tired of being discriminated. Tired of not being able to pursue my passions. Tired of being disrespected. Tired of having to try more and still be looked aside. Will I ever get a date? Will I ever make friends and not have them shy away from me when I start taking? I'm just soooOOOOO tired. With the advent of my near failing grade in organic chemistry, I wonder if pursuing dentistry is even right for me. I had to overcome significant mental hurdles to even think about doing it and now that it may not be an option for me, where else do I go? Nearly all well paying jobs require communication. And it's not like I could just get a job at Publix and work my way up if I can't even get my foot through the door because employers disregard me for someone else. They say "they aren't discriminating" but we know they are, but we can't prove it. I'm considering being a Psych Nurse due to the issues I've overcome in my life, but even with that, would people respect me? They don't now so why would they before? I feel like until I got to college nobody took me seriously and it isn't until I mention I'm a senior studying pre-dental they're like "Oh! So you're smart!" and then start to tolerate my speech impediment. Nursing is primarily oral communication based, and if physicians/patients/coworkers aren't respecting you, then what more can you do? Not to mention the cruciality of surgery. Any delay could kill someone. :/ Also, I don't know why, but there's so many people here (SLPs/non-stutterers/mild/etc) that don't understand what it's like to go through this and then reply with "owo dont give up!!11 youre so valid ! be strong!!". Like yeah no f kidding. Tell me something I haven't heard. It isn't constructive because a lot of us are tired of hearing the same thing and nothing changing. I can only work on me not being affected by depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental issues so much before there's nothing else but to be infuriated and helpless at the circumstances. I do respect the SLP profession for sure, but it seems like telling someone with a chronic terminal disease from birth "keep your head up, champ! things get better". It doesn't help. IMO, it seems patronizing. At first I'm like *"Hey! Maybe a stutter wouldn't be so bad on this earth if I can manage my mental issues and grow from it! Maybe there's something out there that can work! Maybe If I try this?"* to *"Maybe if I'm hopeful and pray enough it would go away?"* to "*Maybe my next life wouldn't have any issues"*. I have and I am contemplating suicide so many times because although I'm grateful to be in America, what's the point if you don't have the ability to interact with your world on a substantial level? It's like looking through a snow-globe. Even my personal life is really messed up AND plus I have to deal with this? What kind of sick game is this? ​ **tldr:** im tired of being less than the average person and there needs to be a cure ASAP bc im not sure how much I can turn to memes to cope before I start doing drugs/kermitting myself okok i dont expect much from this but if it helped you relate through it im glad!! this staved the depression demons for a certain amount of time. **ty SLPS for what you do!!! people NEED YOUR PROFESSION and its so helpful.**