I don't wanna push no more

I don't wanna push no more I'm damn tired. I choose isolation over the nightmare, the extreme tension and embarrassment that would cause to just say a sentence. I've become asocial, and I hate that I'm letting this sh*t win. I don't know how to fight back. For other people talking is like taking a shower. For me it's climbing the goddamn Everest. And I'm tired.