commentr/StutterAugust 2, 2023

Content

I'm 25 now. I've been working since I was 15. My stutter has been "cured" at times, but it ALWAYS comes back when I'm on the phone or stressed. Now, I'm in a sales support position and talk on the phone every day (not always to customers, but to my coworkers, at least). The bottom line is, you have to face it and own it. For years, I avoided jobs that required me to speak on the phone, or any job that required a lot of talking. They were mostly warehouse jobs, landscaping, and a mechanic job once. My first job that really tested me was fast food. I applied as a delivery driver because I figured I'd pick up deliveries, drive, drop it off, and repeat. Things were going well at first. Within my first week, though, they were short staffed and made me work the front counter... I was honestly petrified and sweating the whole shift. I had to answer the phone and take orders, I had to call out orders to customers in the lobby (I definitely stutter when I have to raise my voice like that), and worst of all was working the drive-thru. People would get impatient, laugh at me sometimes, they'd think the mic was broken and repeat "hello?", or just drive up looking confused...it was very frustrating. I distinctly remember punching the counter out of pure frustration and anger after blocking for a solid 15 seconds...it felt like an eternity. HOWEVER, that was the best 6 months of my stuttering life. That was 2 years ago and my stutter has noticeably improved. Facing that every day made the stress and anxiety of speaking slowly but surely wear off! It made me realize that avoiding speaking in situations when i stutter the most actually made my stutter and anxiety worse. Having the support of great coworkers made me feel a bit better about myself and how I speak. Having super nice customers be patient with me and smile and just chat with me made me feel so much more comfortable with myself. I still stutter now but less, I still stutter on the phone every day, but I feel like I can actually accept it now. That job taught me that, truly, no one judges us harder than we judge ourselves. There will always be douchebags that will make you feel like you want to disappear on the spot from embarrassment, but guess what? They'll never have the level of strength or courage it takes to face what we face every day. Don't give up! The next time you have to talk on the phone, and you feel the stutter coming on, just pause. Imagine the face of the person on the other line. Imagine they don't care how you speak (they don't care). I like to imagine they're basically frozen in time, just patiently waiting for me to unblock and finish my sentence. Then, move on. Don't think too far ahead in your sentences and just breathe. The best thing I've discovered is that I stutter less the faster I let go and recover from my last stutter. If you can forgive yourself for stuttering, you'll stutter less. Rinse and repeat, my friend. Best of luck to you, and again, DO NOT give up! You're more than your stutter ❤️ TLDR: working a drive-thru for 6 months with my block stutter (my biggest challenge of my working life) forced me to 1) face my anxiety about my stutter every day, 2) surrounded me with people who saw me for more than my stutter, which 3) allowed me to mostly let go of my anxiety - which over time, improved my stutter!

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityCoping & AdvocacyEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionHiding & ConcealmentStress & Fight/FlightVoluntary Stuttering & ExposureAnxiety & Social JudgmentAcceptance & Pride

Codes (3)

ordering_service_encounterphysical_statetime_pressure